The Nerd 5K FAQ

1. What, exactly, is the Nerd 5K?

Why, thank you for asking! The Nerd 5K takes place on Saturday, August 13th. Nerds (and some non-nerds) will run 5 kilometers, or 3.1 miles, whichever they prefer, some time during that day. That's all it is.

2. Uh, what's the point?

Wow, you're direct, aren't you? Anyhow, I went over the point in this post, but the gist is this: if you're out of shape and are afraid of people laughing at you for trying to get IN shape, train for the Nerd 5K. To help with your self-esteem, I'm going to post updates of my progress to make everyone else in the entire universe feel better, because I'm that unathletic. I've never run a mile in under 10 minutes. No, not even when I was young and thin and fit. Never. I'm super-duper-out of shape, and pretty much always have been. I figure if I document my humiliation, it can give a boost to those who are too afraid to do it for themselves. Plus, it will be hilarious.

3. I thought this was for charity.

It is and it isn't. For every person who agrees to run on August 13th, I will donate $5 of my own money to Heifer International, up to $1000. You can read more about them on their website; they're a nonprofit that help farmers make a living.

4. What if you get more than 200 people? Will you donate more money?

Yes. If it's just a little over 200, I'll donate my own money. If I get a lot of people to run, I'll look for sponsors or matching donations, or sell t-shirts or something. But I will attempt to donate for every single person who runs.

5. Can non-nerds join? What about nerds who already run?

Since it's for charity, YES, on one condition: you can't be the type of person who makes fun of someone who takes twenty minutes to run a mile. Basically, you have to be a friend of the nerd, because I am going to talk about how hard running is for me, and how weak and pathetic I am, and how I would so rather be doing some stoichiometry.

6. How do I join?

Easy. You email me, or you leave a comment and say you'll join. I'm going to try and make a Facebook event for this if I get a lot of you to join. You can also send me your updates if you have a blog or twitter, and I'll link to them here.

Update: there is now also a Yahoo group, found here.

7. I can't do it on August 13th. Can I run another day?

Sure.

8. I'm not a runner, so I don't know if I should join.

As I push up my spectacles and say in my most nasal voice, That's not really a question. But the answer is: I'm not a runner either (duh). There are a bunch of programs out there to get non-runners running, the most popular of which is the Couch to 5K program.

9. Why are you doing this?

I want to get into running, and I want to get in shape, but I don't want to do it alone. I also don't want to run with anyone else, because how embarrasing would that be? Incredibly embarrassing. So I am going to do what most nerds do, and reach out through the computer.

Also, nerds, you're out of shape. I don't want you to die at your keyboard. I want you to live a long time to enjoy making fun of people who think that code is really just a string of zeroes and ones. I love nerds, and I'm married to one, and I am one, and I want the nerd to non-nerd ratio to always be large. So don't die. And let's face it: nerds, we have to work on the whole "athleticism" thing like other people have to work at being smart. So, I thought if I donated to charity , it would help people commit to running with me. Because nerds have big hearts and love charity.

Plus, as I said before: it will be hilarious. I'm a fan of people making idiots of themselves.

10. How do I know if I'm nerdy enough to run the Nerd 5K?

Do you know, without even thinking about it, the exact minute marker where the phrase, "These are not the droids you are looking for," is uttered?

Do you not understand people who scored lower on the math portion of the SAT than the verbal portion?

Do you fantasize about setting up more than three monitors in your office?

Do you buy your clothes in earnest, at Costco?

Do your arms and legs resemble sticks?

Do you get angry at the nerds on The Big Bang Theory because Come! On! They're not even that nerdy! ?

Are you horribly unphotogenic but will post photos of yourself on the Internet so people can see JUST how big of a nerd you are?

Good, then you'll fit right in here. Leave a comment, making sure to include your email address, or email me directly and I'll count you in (and touch base with you when it gets closer to August 13th!).

11. How many of these people were YOU asking these questions?

Many. I was many of the people. That doesn't mean you shouldn't join me.